Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
