I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
