South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Randomize
