belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I think i peed on brittanys purse
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
