the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
