uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
