just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Randomize
