i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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