well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
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