you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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