you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I want her autograph on my taint
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Randomize
