Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
