So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize