he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Just pee around me
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
