Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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