the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Drake has all the answers
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
