smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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