she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
