im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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