i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
