His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
