I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
We're like a lot better than the average bears
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
