I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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