Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
