OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
