i wish there were pregnant emoticons
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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