I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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