naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize
