we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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