oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
