shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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