Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Randomize
