New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
