I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Blood and glitter go together right?
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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