Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
