Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize
