he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Randomize
