in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Can you bring me the toilet please
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
