just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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