I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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