He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Randomize
