i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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