hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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