Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
