You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Randomize
