sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
My dick has a subreddit
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
