yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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