Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
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