The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
