I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
