oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I'm at about main and main street
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I think people are normalizing furries
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
