we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
