It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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