Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
