the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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