she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
