he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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