She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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